I’m not giving power to my insecurities anymore.

I feel like such a loser. Lemme tell you why.

These past few days I have been absolutely down on myself. My self confidence has been nonexistent and my blog posts have been reflecting that. I feel like I have been the epitome of a whiny self-absorbed teenager these past few days and that’s not who I am.

And so because I am somewhat embarrassed by my negative attitude, I’m making a conscious decision right now to be happy and confident in myself.

I’m a big believer in using affirmations to increase self confidence and success and they’re a tool I always go back to. I’ve had a lot of success with raising my self confidence through affirmations and so I think I’ll start using them again.

For people who may not know, affirmations are phrases in the positive, present tense you repeat to yourself to help manifest a certain reality. I’m not sure how well they work with physical things (like increasing your wealth or house or whatever) but I know they work great for changing internal attitudes. You tell yourself the same positive thing enough times and your brain eventually begins to believe it as true, just like it did with the original negative idea.

I think this will be good for me because I really can’t expect to be very successful this school year if my confidence is in the dirt. Not to mention when I return to school and have to face being in class with my ex, I need to feel as good as possible about myself to prevent any desperate or inappropriate behavior directed towards him.

I haven’t figured out what affirmations I’ll use, but I know I need to get started in improving my self confidence. If I’m dedicated enough, maybe I’ll be able to start meditating as well. Meditating always helps me feel more peaceful and able to face the world. I know meditating would also help with my self confidence. Focusing on Buddhism helps my self confidence in general because I quit focusing on things and instead focus on improving myself and showing compassion towards others. I haven’t been as dedicated of a Buddhist as I like to believe I am.

On a side note, I’m hoping to get involved in some sort of creative writing club this year. I really want to improve my writing beyond its current progression and become good. At the very least I need to start writing short stories and poems every day. Blogging is nice but I just don’t think it will help grow my writing the way poetry and prose will. And I definitely need to talk to my advisor about that creative writing minor.

But that’s all I have to say right now. I’m feeling more positive than I have in a couple of days right now; positive about the upcoming school year and my future. I also really want to go clothes shopping. Haha. It’s a horrible temporary fix, but shopping always makes me feel better! Haha. I’ve turned into such a girly girl lately. 😜

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About emilleejoyce

I am a yoga alliance 200 hour certified yoga teacher whose hobbies include growing cacti and succulents, cooking vegan food, and bicycling. My day job is in academic publishing.

2 responses to “I’m not giving power to my insecurities anymore.

  1. stillstrange

    I am glad you are trying to be more optimistic and using the power of affirmation however with a journal such as WordPress you should be free to be yourself and should not have to post only happy things all the time. Your Fans/Followers will want to know the true you not just the good day you.
    Also, if you want more Fans/Followers (don’t we all?) I suggest using more Tags for your posts. I use Uncategorized a lot also, as well as tons of other tags pertaining to the topic I posted about. It took a while but I cannot believe my followers are over 50 so far.

  2. Karma Rinchen Tashi

    I found your writing interesting thank you. For me too, I have experienced that my life appears more negative if I choose to empower my insecurities, and more positive if I choose to empower positive thoughts. My challenge is that intellectually I know it; putting that into practice is difficult! Currently challenged by writing which at some point I will break by just writing something! Thank you!

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