So I once again have the pleasure of suffering from a rather painful headache. They’ve started to become nightly, reoccurring things and I’ve basically convinced myself they’re related to some sort of eye strain. I’ve spent basically all day, every day this summer staring at some sort of screen: either my phone, computer, or tv. I think that might be the cause of my headaches.
Regardless, I spent some more time reading about law of attraction methods, and while I got some good ideas, I think I’ll stick with my lists. I like the lists. I like the words. For me, writing something down makes it real and concrete. Picture boards and stuff like that are too hard for me to do. My brain thinks in words, rather than images.
Anyways, last night I started my first list, the list of the “Perfect Me”. I’m making lists for 3 areas in my life: myself, my future career, and my future husband. I managed to come up with 25 qualities of the “perfect me” last night, and I’ll subsequently come up with 25 qualities for the other categories. And then I’ll keep repeating until I reach 100. I feel like 100 is the magic number.
It was surprisingly difficult to come up with 25 qualities of the “perfect me”, either because I felt like I was repeating myself or because I really just don’t know who I want to be that well. I don’t know. But I feel the other 2 categories will be easier to think about. I may not know exactly what I want in terms of a career or husband, but I’ve got a fair amount of ideas.
And in regards to my fashion blog, I’m starting to get impatient with myself. Lately I have been paralyzed by perfection: so afraid of doing it wrong that I’d rather not do it at all.
That’s a stupid idea and I know the longer I put off starting this blog, the more likely it won’t come to fruition at all. Who cares if it sucks at first?? Who cares if my posts have no substance for the first month or so?? It’ll probably take me a while to figure out the perfect recipe so to speak, and I shouldn’t be embarrassed by my mistakes.
That is something I have been struggling with – having the courage to make mistakes and be embarrassed. I find myself paralyzed by fear whenever one of those possibilities arises. But the fashion world especially, is all about taking risks, making mistakes, and being embarrassed in my opinion. How many celebrities have made questionable or down-right horrible fashion mistakes only to later become an icon of style?? Fashion is about evolution, and you can’t evolve if you’re afraid to make mistakes.
I hate the fact that multiple people consider me the real-life example of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon is a great character for a comedy show, but he’s not so great when you’re like that in real life.
I mean, some of my “Sheldon” qualities are a blessing – at least in small amounts. They make me who I am and make me good at certain things. But if I’m not careful, my Sheldon qualities can run amok until I really do become a real-life Sheldon. And becoming a real-life Sheldon means sacrificing living. And I certainly don’t want to do that.
But that is all I have to say tonight. I hope to go to bed early tonight but I have to think about what I’ll wear to church tomorrow (my only opportunity to dress up) since I’ve got a decent amount of new clothes to wear. And I need to work on my lists. Not to mention my headache has somewhat exhausted me.
Hopefully I can go ahead and get this fashion blog started in the next couple of days!! I won’t let my fear keep me paralyzed anymore!!