To Graduate School, and Beyond!!

So I spent part of tonight looking over University of Chicago’s PhD requirements for admission and for the program itself. Can you talk about scary?? My writing sample just for the admission application has to be either a Master’s thesis paper or a research paper 20 pages or longer. Ah!!

Not to mention I just feel completely overwhelmed about trying to prepare for grad school. What kind of classes should I take?? When and how do I take the GRE?? I’m so glad I’m going back to Columbus in a week. I desperately need to talk to my advisors and get some clarification and information on the subject.

I now understand my mother’s desire for me to quit worrying about boys and instead focus on education. I’ve always kind of nodded my head but crossed my fingers behind my back when she told me she would prefer I didn’t date right now, but now I’m seeing her wisdom.

If I want to get into grad school, I need to do my absolute best in my classes. And this past year showed I clearly can’t do that and date at the same time. Yes, I finished my freshman year with a 3.8 GPA, but I could’ve done sooo much better if I hadn’t spent all year stuck up my ex’s butt.

Ugh. I’m so frustrated with myself for wasting my time on him. I guess it was a learning experience?? But god, I sacrificed so many much more important things to be with him. I sacrificed my friends, my education, parts of my personality, just to try and be his “perfect girlfriend”. I can’t remember if it was before or after we broke up (pretty sure it was after), but he basically laid out the guidelines for his perfect girlfriend and told me I wasn’t meeting the criteria.

Well fuck you too.

He got back in town today from Russia and all I heard from him was a group text. We’ll see if he has the decency to text me tomorrow, since we’re “best friends” and all.
Soooo not looking forward to seeing him when school starts.

Anyways, back to graduate school. A lot of my classes this past year were taught by graduate students, and I always checked to see if they had a wedding ring. A lot of them didn’t, and I’ll admit, I might have judged them negatively for it. (What can I say?? Parts of the traditional southern ideal still run deep in my veins). But after reading over what one actually has to do in grad school, I totally understand WHY they’re not married. It would just be too hard to maintain a relationship and all that coursework.

I mean, a lot of people do manage. My sister just finished her master’s and she’s married. But to me, it seems the logical choice would be to remain single until after completion of your degree.

And with that deduction, I think a part of me has finally come to peace about being single right now. As much as I desire to be in a relationship (and eventually married), I have no problem admitting that my education is more important than finding a husband.

That includes not only graduate school, but undergraduate school as well. If I remain single for the entire 3 years of undergrad I have left, I’m okay with that. Because it means I will be able to focus on my education in the best way possible. Boys will always come and go. But education is more of a once in a lifetime opportunity, if you know what I mean. There’s plenty of time to find a husband after I get all my degrees, but if I want to ultimately pursue a PhD, then really the best time for that is now.

Hooray for happy self realizations. :)


About emilleejoyce

I am a yoga alliance 200 hour certified yoga teacher whose hobbies include growing cacti and succulents, cooking vegan food, and bicycling. My day job is in academic publishing.

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