Foam Rolling through School

So tonight I decided to break out my foam roller before and after stretching to see if it helped any.

I don’t know if it helped my flexibility immediately, but it did make my muscles feel good. I think in the long run, the foam roller could have a positive impact on my flexibility.

Of course, that’s why I bought it in the first place. In my quest to become more flexible, I have often sought to understand the scientific side of flexibility and stretching. I came across the concept of myofascial release as a technique for increasing flexibility, and a foam roller is the best way to achieve that relaxation.

In case you’re wondering, the concept behind myofascial release is that, it’s not actually your muscles preventing your flexibility, but the fascia that surrounds the muscles. As per my understanding, the fascia is this sort of web like structure that surrounds every muscle. A lot of times, this fascia gets “knots” in it where it becomes super dense and difficult to move. These knots are the things that prevent increases in flexibility. And a foam roller is the cheapest way to “break up” these “knots” in your muscles.

I can’t actually attest to the efficacy of this technique, because I’ve never actually stuck with it long enough to see true results, but everything I’ve read about it gives it the thumbs up. At the very least, it does provide a nice deep tissue massage for your muscles, even if it ultimately doesn’t help with flexibility.

But I do think I’m making slow progress, despite my notoriously weak core and muscle imbalances. I’ve been trying to focus more on correct posture in my front bends, which means keeping a straight back. And I think having to keep a straight back is helping strengthen it, even if ever so slightly. I feel positive about what I’m doing, and I know things will get even better once school starts back up and I can go to the gym.

I’m ready for school to start already. I’m tired of break and it’s only been about a week. It’s kind of depressing to know I’m not leaving until January 5th. I just feel like I’m stagnating at home. Not really accomplishing anything or doing anything, just vegetating on the couch. I appreciate the break from schoolwork, but I’m excited for my classes next semester. I’m ready to get started!!

Oh, and finally today, my history professor uploaded grades. I made an A- in the class!! I’m super excited because that was the one class I was really worried about. I was expecting a B at best but I made an A-!! I couldn’t be happier!!

I also managed to raise my GPA .05 points, which is exciting. I started at a 3.806 and now my GPA is a 3.855 if I remember correctly. Gotta keep working hard though so I can hit the 3.9 mark. That’s my goal. And then if I’m real ambitious, I might try for a 4.0 (I don’t even know if that’s possible since I haven’t made straight A’s from the get go).

But yeah, I don’t know if this counts, but I had a goal to at least make all A’s for one semester of college. I think I technically reached that goal this semester, even though one of the A’s has a minus attached to it. I don’t know. I guess my next goal will be to get all A’s without any minuses. Haha.

But yeah, that’s my life.
I do need to start working on my research paper I’m “writing”. I was planning on working on it over break, but so far the motivation has not struck me. I blame the TV; it’s so distracting!!

That’s why I just assume not have one. I’m so much more motivated and productive when there’s no TV to zone out in front of. I didn’t have one in my dorm last year, I don’t technically have one this year (though my roommate does, ugh), and my apartment will definitely not have one next year.

Boo on the TV!!

Nighty night y’all.

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I love Epsom salt baths.

I can’t believe I haven’t posted since September. Sorry about that. A lot has contributed to my absence. Mainly, on top of being super busy, I just haven’t felt like writing.

But the semester is over now. Tonight’s my first night back in Georgia. So I’ll have plenty of free time to post now. Woo! I guess I should get y’all updated then.

So school.
I’ve gotten all my final grades in except for one. All A’s so far. I’m expecting my last grade, fingers crossed, to be a B.

All of my classes were good this year, except for my history class, which is the class I’m praying I make a B in. I have determined that history just isn’t really my thing. Too many dates and too many people.

Plus the final exam for that class was killer. On top of doing multiple choice questions, a map portion, and an identification section, we were expected to write 2 full length essays!! In an hour and 45 minutes no less!! I’m sorry, but if you want me to do all that, AND write 2 awesome essays, I’m gonna need more time. I actually feel pretty good about the exam. It’s only the second essay I’m really worried about. I didn’t have time to plan out my thoughts or evidence, and to be honest, I didn’t really know the answer to the prompt, so there was some major BS-ing going on. I’m just praying for a B. If I get a B in that class, I’ll be happy.

All of my other classes were great though. Turkish was Turkish, so I didn’t have any problems there. My English class was great and I did awesome on my final presentation. I did great on my translation studies paper and entomology was easy. The final wound up not even counting in that class because I had such a good grade.

So yeah, not a bad semester, but I sure am glad it’s over with. I’ve never had a finals week so intense. But next semester, I’ll be taking Turkish again, a class on the planets, intro to world literature, a class on sex and gender in the ancient world, and French 101. I’m excited about next semester. I think all of my classes will be really fun.

I’ve also started preparing to rent my own apartment next year. We’re gonna get all that straightened out while I’m home for christmas. I can’t stand living in the dorms and I’m super excited to live on my own, off campus, next year. No roommate to worry about, I’ll be able to cook my own food, it’ll be great I think. I’ve got several apartments already picked out, but I haven’t looked at any of them yet. The public season for the main ones I’m looking at doesn’t start until January 11th, so I have to wait. Fingers crossed though that I find the perfect apartment without too much difficulty. And that everything works out money wise because we’re planning on paying for my apartment out of pocket.

Me and my mom talked briefly about that tonight. She estimated it’ll cost $1000 a month for me to live off campus, but I think her estimate is too high. That’s all based on my spending this year and hypothetical utility bills. Living in an apartment will cut down on my spending costs because I won’t be eating out so much. And there are ways (I’m prepared to sacrifice) to make utility bills lower.

But yeah. I’m planning on staying in Columbus, basically year round. I want to get an off campus job this summer on top of my on campus job when next school year starts up. I’m going to pay for rent and possibly some other stuff if I can. I’m prepared (well, working on it) and I think everything will work out.

I’m sure those of you (if you do exist) that care about my meager life for some reason, want to know about me and my ex. And I can honestly say, things are good. I feel like our relationship has reached a point of balance and comfortability. You know, I’ve accepted that we’re not together and I’m okay with that. Maybe well get back together one day, maybe we won’t. But things are really good.

I’ve finally reached a place of emotional stability. I’m not constantly swinging back and forth between extremes anymore. Yes, I still do fantasize about us being together, but that fantasizing doesn’t send me into a depression like it used to. I think I can honestly say I’m happy with the current situation. It may not be ideal. Others may think its not right or not healthy or whatever, but I’m pretty content.

I’ve found lowering my standards has helped. Haha. I’ve stopped expecting so much from my ex. Maybe he’s not acting the way I want or imagined originally, but I can’t control him, and that’s okay. He talks to me when he talks to me. When see each other when we see each other. There’s not many expectations or pressure. And he’s still there for me. I mean, he took me to the airport this morning. He’s taking care of my plants over break. Things are good. We’ll see where the future takes us.

So yeah, that’s my update for now. That’s all I can think of that’s major. Perhaps I’ll have something more interesting to post tomorrow. But basically, I just wanted to say, I’m back!!

Why are people swimming in mirror lake??

Today turned out better than was expected.

Seeing my ex wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be last night. He sat behind me , we were partners in class just like last year. I walked him to the bus stop after class. As he said, “Everything’s the same and nothing’s the same.”

He hugged me twice and seemed genuinely happy to see me. He complimented my dress and my hair.

He even texted me later on in the day and explained why he hadn’t bothered to text me since being back from Russia. Apparently he forgot what name he put me under in his phone. (He gives everyone made-up nicknames in his contacts). He also said he’s been really busy this past week.

I’m afraid to believe it’s as simple as that. I’m afraid to believe that there was no malicious intent behind his lack of contact. Can it really be that easy??

I know the Buddha says that anger is like holding on to a hot coal. You are the only person that gets hurt. But I’m afraid to let go of the anger. I’m afraid that letting go of the anger means losing some how. That it some how means he won.

I don’t want to be angry at him. Today reminded me of that. The anger kind of melted away with his first hug. But it still reminds me that there is a big part of me that still loves him, still wants to be in a relationship with him. I find myself longing for the days when we were dating, when we did everything together, when we were “us”.

I don’t know what to do with myself. It has been made obvious to me that I’m not over him. So what do I do??

He told me he has a billion stories to tell me about Russia. And he said we will hang out sometime. We need to have tea together.

It’s times like these I wish I could see into the future.

Well, other than that, I also went to drums and dough tonight. It’s a multicultural thing with ethnic food and dancing. I got henna on my hand. This is what it looked like after the woman put it on:

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I also watched the new episode of Futurama tonight with my friends. I feel awkward using my roommate’s tv, even though she gave me permission.

Also my history professor is crazy. High energy is an understatement. The entire time he was constantly walking back and forth, clapping his hands together, even jumping. Not to mention he’s super loud. I’m not sure how I feel about him. I certainly won’t be falling asleep in that class, but he also kind of intimidates me.

So yeah. Here I am, sitting at the edge of Mirror Lake under a tree on my favorite bench.

Tomorrow I most likely won’t see my ex, which saddens me. I want him to see my henna. I want him to like it. Even though I tell all my friends I’m trying to look fabulous to make him regretful, I’m really seeking his approval. I still want him to find me pretty. Like somehow if he finds me pretty enough, maybe he’ll love me again. That is, if he ever really loved me in the first place.

I wish I could change things. Don’t we all?? This isn’t how I want my picture perfect life plan to work out. Even with all his asshole-ish qualities, my ex is still basically the perfect match for my ideal mate. And that’s the part I don’t know how to deal with. How do you deal with losing your imagined “perfect match”? How do you deal with being so close, and then losing it all??

I can’t decide if I look forward to waking up tomorrow. I can’t decide how I feel about this whole situation.

My friend told me, every time her and her (now ex) boyfriend of 5 years broke up and got back together, it was like a new relationship, because they both matured after each break up. Could that happen to me?? Could I have been right in believing we were soul mates?? Do we both only need time to mature?? Sometimes I believe that this break up is karmic retribution to something I did to him in a previous life. And once that bad karma is purged, we will be reunited again. Is it naive to believe that??

I have so many contradictions running through my head right now, too many questions. And I can’t think now that a group of guys decided to sit on a bench not too far from me.

If only life came with an instruction manual.

Today was good.

Alright. I’m going to try and make this post quick because I really do need to go to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow so I can go to Buck-I-Frenzy early with my friends.

Today was a really good day. I made some progress on getting my dorm organized and to my liking. Today was also the student involvement fair that I’ve mentioned several times previously.

Last year the student involvement fair was held inside due to rain. I thought the amount of people who showed up then was insane. This year is was sooo much bigger!! It was held outside on the oval (which is its normal location) and there were so many people. I only saw about half of the booths because there was just too much crowd to fight.

I did get to help out with my Buddhist group’s table like I had planned and I’m really proud of myself. I’m not very good at being social but I think I did a really good job handing out fliers and telling people what they needed to know. We got like 3 pages of emails from people who are interested, so I hope that means we’ll really have a legitimate club with more than 5 members. Out of those 3 pages of emails, someone is bound to show up at our meetings!!

I also got another free plant. (One of the catholic organizations hands out free plants every year). That makes #6 in my dorm!! Haha. My parents will be soooo thrilled. I don’t know what it is yet, I’ll have to google it. But it looks really pretty. I promise I’ll put pictures of my plants up soon.

I also went to hookah (one of my most favorite “hobbies”) with one of my friends. We had a really good time and I did some much needed venting about my ex.

Tomorrow is Buck-I-Frenzy (like I said) which is otherwise known as “get tons of free shit”. I also have to work for the first time this new school year. It’s only for 3 hours but I’m still not super excited about it. It’s kind of inconveniently placed right in the middle of the afternoon (2-5). Oh well, hopefully it won’t be too miserable.

And that’s all I have to say. If I could stay up later I might expand upon the ex-venting (because I do have a lot to say on that subject) but I don’t feel like upsetting myself tonight and I need to go to bed desperately.

Good night!!

F. M. L.

Today has been an exhausting day to say the least.
We got on campus around 8:30 to move me in to my dorm. After several hours of unpacking and putting together, we got most of my stuff unpacked. My parents left around 4:30.

I haven’t done this much walking all summer. I know I’ll get used to it, like I did last year, but still, my feet and legs are tired!! And tomorrow is the involvement fair, which will mean even more walking. It will probably take about a week before my body adjusts.

So first off, I’m sure you’re wondering about my roommate. She’s seems nice enough, but we havent really spent enough time together for me to asses her personality thoroughly. It’s really funny though. When you look at our closets, her side is all bright bright colors with lots of flip flops and “comfy” clothes. My side is full of dark blacks and greys with high heels, boots, and pointy toed flats. Haha. If that gives any indication of how different our personalities may be.

I really need to vent about this dorm though.
What?? You thought it would be nice because it’s new??
It is, dot get me wrong. I’m in a corner room so we get 2 windows (which is great for my plants) and everything is nice and new and clean.

But the bathrooms. Ohmyfuckinggod the bathrooms.
I’m angry about this. Part of the reason I chose this dorm was because it had semi-private bathrooms. The dorm I lived in last year had semi-private bathrooms. The dorm I lived in last year had about 6 rooms that each came equipped with a shower, toilet, and sink/mirror. I loved this setup. And stupid me for thinking because this dorm has the same “type” of bathrooms, they would be set up the same.

Nuh uh. It’s about 5 rooms each with a shower and toilet. And then 3 public sinks and mirrors. So I’m already unhappy about this. There are things I do in the bathroom which require a private mirror. I had to take my little hand held mirror into the shower closet so I could do these things without being seen.

Second thing, these bathrooms are not strictly gender separated. While I’m standing at these public sinks trying to take off my makeup and wash my face, what happens?? 4 loud guys come in to all take a piss in the “shower closets” – getting a full view of me in my awkwardness of getting ready for bed.

Now, it’s not like I’m want to impress these guys or anything. I just want some fucking privacy!! It would’ve been one thing if it had been 4 loud girls, but guys, really?? I honestly just feel kind of violated.

And another thing I noticed while hiding out in the shower closet trying to get some privacy, is there is really no where to put your stuff except the nasty dirty floor. There are 2 hooks to put your towels, but where am I supposed to put my robe?? Where am I supposed to put my stuff I don’t want to take to the shower with me?? My old dorm had plenty of places to put stuff. But not this one. Hell, my friends’ communal bathroom last year had more places to put things.

Me and my high maintenance-ness are gonna have a serious problem with this.

The one saving grace is the handicapped bathroom “pod” thing does come with a private mirror and sink and plenty of room to put things. And honestly, I don’t care how long I have to wait. I wouldn’t care if there were 50 handicapped people lined up behind me (though that’s not really true), I’m using that bathroom. I can’t use it right now because it’s fucking OUT OF ORDER. But I swear, as soon as that sign comes off – I’m first in line.

So that’s my rant for today. I’m sure I’ll have even more to vent about tomorrow after I take my shower in the shower closet.

But I’m going to try to wake up early(ish) tomorrow to help prepare myself for classes on wednesday. So I bid you all adieu. Pictures of my dorm will soon follow after I finish getting everything put together.

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