I can’t wait to leave.

So today has been interesting.
I went to kohl’s and bought a new bra and pair of underwear. Yippee. That’s not exciting though.

Complications have arisen with my return to Columbus.

Originally, my friend was going to pick me up from the airport and let me stay at her apartment for the night. Then my ex offered both of those services, so I told my friend not to worry. Well today I found out that my ex can no longer house me for the night. So I asked my friend if it was cool if I still stayed the night…well she had already changed her plans. Now I have to coordinate between the two of them when my ex has to leave and my friend needs to be available.

Ugh. I feel like a horrible person for being so flaky and making my friend’s life so much more complicated. I know she’s not gonna hate me or anything, but I hate having to coordinate and plan and that’s what this situation has made me have to do.

I also tried to Skype with my ex tonight (his suggestion) and it was a super fail. The connection kept crapping out on us. Neither of us could hardly get a sentence in before the video feed would cut out and the connection was lost. Ugh.

It has been a slightly frustrating night.

Oh, also, my ex is in the process of quitting smoking right now. He was complaining of the fatigue he felt from it tonight. But he said, if I still smoke, he’ll probably bum cigarettes from me. I don’t know. Interesting tidbit of info I thought. I don’t think he’s really committed to quitting just yet.

I also decided to buy some new exercise clothes from amazon tonight. Let me tell you, I have never felt more guilty about a purchase than I did tonight. It’s just really hard spending my money when I know I’m supposed to be saving for my apartment.

I mean, I can rationalize it by saying that I did kind of need new workout clothes. I don’t own very many right now, and since my new year’s resolution is to go to the gym more, I need something to wear. And I’m one of those girls where, if I don’t have something cute to wear, I just won’t go. So my purchases are justifiable.

And I did budget my purchases to make sure I still had enough money to make the deposit on an apartment. I still feel bad though. My parents are freaking out so much about the cost of an apartment, it makes me feel guilty for not being like that. I’m not worried, but they seem to be, so then I get worried about the fact that I’m not worried. Ugh. So complicated.

But hopefully all the clothes fit and I like them and I won’t have to deal with the hassle of trying to send them back. I generally hate buying clothes on the Internet because you can’t try them on, but the normal stores you buy exercise clothes from just don’t offer what I want.

I also bought a book of like, buddhist children’s stories. I don’t know. I only bought it because I wanted to get the free super saver shipping. We’ll just file it away under the “for the future” category, not that a children’s book wouldn’t have valuable lessons for an adult in it. I do dream about having kids one day and teaching them about Buddhism and stuff. It’s a little fantasy of mine.

Oh well.
That was my day.
Tomorrow is my last day in Augusta thank god. I’m so ready to leave and get back to Columbus. There’s a reason they call my hometown “Disgusta”. So tomorrow will devoted purely to packing and getting ready to leave on Saturday.

Sometimes I feel guilty for 1) not wanting to come home and 2) when I am home, not enjoying my time here. But it is what it is. Like I said, Columbus is home now. I don’t really have any friends left here and I hate living with my parents. We get along much better when we don’t have to share the shame living quarters. I mean, I’ve never really been homesick before. I don’t know if I ever will be. I just like being independent and not having to be accountable to someone all the time. It’s very freeing.

But that’s my post for the night. I don’t have much else to say, other than Saturday can’t come fast enough.
Nighty night.


It’s a Wonderful Life

I wish I had something revolutionary to talk about tonight. I feel like my posts are boring because they generally amount to a rehashing of my day. But, write what you know, and what I know is my daily life.

Tonight, I went to church to watch the dress rehearsal of my mom’s Christmas program. This year, they’re doing a “Jesus-ed up” version of It’s a Wonderful Life.

It’s an interesting concept, and I appreciate the change from the normal story-of-Jesus’s-birth routine, but it failed somewhat in its execution.

My main problem is that this play is 3 hours long. Good lord, I thought it was never going to end tonight. The movie is only about 2 hours, so I’m not so sure why this play/musical needs the extra hour.

Other than that, my complaints mainly boil down to bad acting/singing/dancing. But what can you expect?? It’s a musical put on by the local church for the local community. You can’t expect a broadway quality performance, and it gets the job done. Oh, and the costumes weren’t period accurate. But oh well, they tried.

I really want to watch the real movie now, seeing as how I’ve only seen about the first 3/4 of it. I know it’s a classic, and the part that I have seen wasn’t bad. I feel like I can appreciate the movie more, now that I’m older. I don’t know. I just feel it’s a classic that everyone needs to see. Especially because my most favorite movie quote of all time, the one about lassoing the moon, comes from this movie.

I don’t know.

Anyways, more thoughts on exercise tonight.
I’m thinking about adding a cycling class to my schedule, but I’m really intimidated by the idea. Mainly I’m afraid I will die. Cardio is the weakest aspect of my overall fitness and I can’t imagine cycling constantly for an hour. I don’t know if my smoker lungs can handle that.

But I feel motivated to try it purely because I know it will be hard and because my stamina is the weakest part of my health. I really would like to be able to walk to class, or get into my lofted bed without getting out of breath or my heart pounding, smoking be damned!! I’m sure you wonder why I don’t just go ahead and quit smoking, since that would solve the majority of the problem, but that’s a whole blog post for another day. Don’t try to rationalize with an addict. Haha…

But yeah. That’s all I’ve got for now. I’m all pumped up about this getting in shape and yoga thing, so that’s all I’ve really been able to think about recently. I don’t want to bore y’all with, basically a synopsis of everything I said yesterday. I’m just so excited!!

I want to be one of those yoga geeks who has all the gear and goes to class constantly and is really good and really serious. I just want something to direct my focus and energy. I need something positive to obsess about to keep me from obsessing over negative things – because believe me, it will happen. That’s just how my brain works for some odd, unfortunate reason.

Oh, and on an unrelated note. I’m finding myself going through emotional withdrawals from my plants. I didn’t realize how attached I was to them, bur I had a whole dream about them last night!! I can only hope my ex takes good enough care of them over the break that they don’t die. I didn’t give him very specific care instructions….most of it’s common sense. I trust (hope) he has enough to figure it out.

Oh I love my plants. They’re like my little babies.



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